Willow Smith- You're a child, please act like one.

Something that has got to me recently in music, is young artist's missing out on childhood, the time of their lives.

Justin Bieber can sling, I don't care about his childhood, but Willow Smith had potential.

With one of the richest Dad's in the world, Willow Smith could have had anything she wanted, yet at the tender age of 9, she was recording her undeveloped voice to the tune of 'I whip my hair back and forth'.

She's nine, get the girl a yo-yo!

A nine year old should be in year four at school, beginning to learn about ancient Egypt or something. Long division. Learning her spellings? Not topping the charts with a nothing single. And how ridiculous does everyone look whipping their hair back and forth. A drunk night at the Union, the song comes on and there is immediate merriment as everyone begins their organised head banging session, only to regret the decision by the end of the song. You can give me the Cupid Shuffle over this any day.

But no, 'cos Pops is has conquered the world, little Madame must follow suit, sooner than she can read and write. If she can actually sing, then it wouldn't have mattered when she released her first track, she should have waited five or eight years, the Fresh Prince would have made sure his daughter still got a famous as she is now.

I'm just bored of the music scene being clouded by people too young to understand even what they are singing about. Anyone else agree?

I'm off to climb a tree.

Glee? Really? Awww here goes!

Preface:
Ordinarily I would do all I could to avoid watching such bubblegum happiness on screen as is apparent in Glee. However, for the purpose of this music based live blogging experience, I thought I would endeavour.
Do not expect me to commend the show, it's not my cup of tea, so I plan to point out flaws wherever I can. But, if something worth a mention catches my eye, then Glee may have a chance to redeem itself.
So, a quick rundown? From what I have seen on the thrice hourly adverts (probably more) on tele, everyone in Glee is too happy. They sing at the drop of the hat, about teenage menialities, that to be honest do not need to be sung about.
To any fans, I would avoid reading this. But for your information, the episode I am going to commentate is Series 2 Episode 12: Silly Love songs. Yuk.

1min:
A horribly fast spoken boy gives us a run down on what has been happening, along with background music performed by the 'Glee Club'.

'We all know I'm not the smartest guy in the world'; Yes we do. The guy with an actual nineties Mohican hair cut on screen plunges us into a romantic soliloquy. He is staring at the first stock character of the show, a woolly hat clad larger than life girl, without the bubbly personality.

2min:
Stereotype alert: The Jock! Football player come Glee club member bowls into shot in slow motion, telling us all how great he is. It seems to be a theme with Glee, the witless introverted self-commentary. I suppose something has to fill us in on the emotions of the characters, it's not like the song singing is enough!

Next stock characters. Two overtly camp guys discussing romance. Sentiments of 'puppy love' around the holiday of Valentines day. Plastic faced Pinnochio, Kurt, is mistakenly lulled into thinking gay guy number two, Blaine, is expressing his love with him.

4min:

E4.com/glee

The Glee club teacher 'Will' points out the particular focus of this episode by writing love on a whiteboard and drawing a heart round it. I thought this is the an ongoing theme throughout every episode, but thanks for pointing it out. Finn, the jock, takes to front of the class and continues talking about himself, announcing that he will be opening a kissing booth - wow, really?

6min:
The first tears of the episodes, someone feels victimised by the group. Diddums.
Back to Pinnochio and the 'Warblers'. A group of nerds with matching red striped blazers, acting like they are in supreme court situation.

9min:
Yawn. After having his illusions shattered about the 'love', Kurt and two other girls in in pyjamas discuss lost loves and not having dates for Valentines Day.

10min:
First spontaneous song of the episode, I'm surprised it has taken so long. A band playing with no wires or microphones. Where is exactly is your auto-tuned voice coming from Mohican Man? and how is it louder than the drums? The audience know exactly how to dance and sing along to a song so off the cuff, must be luck!
This is excruciating, he is serenading the big girl with an unnecessary swagger, while offending her at the same time: 'Fat bottom girl'.

13min:
The jock and his kissing shack. The beautiful girl of the show just refuses to kiss him, he is disgruntled at this, as if he cannot make do with the rest of female population of the school.

14min:
Macaulay Culkin/ Aaron Carter seems to have entered the shot. He is questioning Quinn, his own girlfriend, as to why she hasn't kissed Jock yet. Eh?

E4.com/glee

16min:
Jock gives his ex-girlfriend a necklace as a present. Bit sentimental.

First appearance of the Asian guy and Wheelchair lad is now upon me. 'We're dope'. Cue spontaneous song number two. Actually fairly catchy, but the slow motion dancing of the Asian guy needs to decease. The overt over-cranked glibness of Wheels is grinding. Guitar man is back, still with no wire or amp.

17min:
Girl fight! Yes! granted it between Crying girl and Behemoth, but it will suffice anyhow. This is the first time I have been entertained thus far. Lauren, clearly with a weight advantage, proceeds to through her opponent to into walls, until masculine head football coach women splits it up.

20min:
Quinn and Finn, the 'attractive' people of the show, just kissed. There were actual fireworks on screen. I still can't tell if this programme is intentionally taking the piss out of itself, but it is doing a great job.

Intermission:
I cannot believe I have another twenty minutes of this.

21min:
Back to the blazer boys. Singing a song in Gap, the shop. The leader is attempting to serenade his scraggly haired crush, while walking around the shop sporting various display sunglasses. Where has the background music come from? I can't see anyone with a Guitar anymore, why did you leave us Guitar man? I was beginning to warm to you!

24min:
'Was it too much?'
Yeah mate, I think it was.

25min:
All the Glee-ers are being couply, how has Wheels managed to bag the best looking girl?
Santana Lopez, the bully, is now filling our ears. She plans to foil Quinn and Finn in their affair. She kisses an anonymous sick boy's Mono germs, and proceeds to pay Jock Finn with her germs. Ending in a mono pandemic, brilliant.

27min:
Mohican is now fake proposing to Lauren, with a candy ring. Figures.

29min:
Blaine, the rejected blazer leader is now doubting the whole romance thing, ashamed of making a fool of himself. Pinnochio confesses his love for Blaine.
This all is getting very mundane, am I actually hoping for a song to break the monotony. Is this how Glee captivates its huge audience? By leading them to beg for respite after each cheesy narrative sequence.

33min:
Attractive bitchy girl now reveals her ploy. Everyone has got Mono. Mono mono mono.
Nasal whispering doesn't do Quinn any justice. She should keep her mouth shut.
Mohican Man finally gets his date with the big girl!

36min:
I'm finding it hard to pick out things to write about, glad it's nearly over.

E4.com/glee

37min.
Rachel, the least hate-able character so far, is now singing Katy Perry's Firework. She is doing it justice, she has got pipes. This is the first time that there has been a performance that I have not hated a little bit; fair play. I'm still not on board with how everyone joins in, and how there is actually fireworks in the background though.

39min:
Pinnochio is making a speech about lonely hearts or something, before singing a song with the Warblers. 'Do you think about people have had enough of singing silly love songs?', hell yeah Blaine. Oh no, he's going to do it anyway. At least I know this crescendo means we are nearing the end of the episode.

Do do do, ba ba ba, and it's done.

End credits:
Well that's over, and I'm not as horrifically scarred by my experience as I thought I would be. I expected to hate the characters more, and myself more for actually watching it.
Alas, I will never be a regular watcher, and will probably still turn it over when it starts on a Monday night. However, some of these actors/actresses clearly have talent, so why not use the fame from Glee to move onto a proper singing career? That way some good can come of it - not that I will listen.

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/glee/4od

A few songs I heavily dislike

I have been becoming ever more critical of some of the rubbish pop music that the auto-tuned chart system has been throwing up since turning 20. Here is a quick rundown of a few songs I find incredible grating at the moment, the horrible repetitive drivel that has been clinging on to the radio waves from the turn of the year.

Bruno Mars – Grenade.

How about we actually send him to battle?

The main problem I have with this song is, well, everything. The lyrics are ridiculous: “I’d catch  a grenade for you, jump in front of a train for you”; I wish he bloody would! The video is stupid too, why is he pushing a piano around? I know it’s meant to be some sort of sentimental metaphor, but you would’ve thought he has made enough money off his debut to give self drive hire a call for a Transit - save him ruining those horribly shiny shoes and suit he’s sporting.  This song over-sensitively attempts charm women of the world, and to be fair Bruno has apparently become somewhat of a symbol to the fairer sex. But, his overt glibness has not won me over; he should have called it a day at being crowned the world’s youngest Elvis impersonator at four years old.

Adele – Someone Like You.

I want to make it clear first off that I totally agree that Adele has a good voice, and to have two massive albums by the age of 21 is a huge achievement for such a young talent. But I just don’t understand how people watching her can get so pathetically emotional watching it. Okay, so if the lyrics have sentimental value to her, then maybe I can understand her getting teary while singing it – the first few times.  But really, does she need to turn on the waterworks every time? Her slower and more dreary songs just don’t appeal to me, and for that reason, I’m out.

Justin Bieber.

Now I realise that I haven’t stated a song for this one, but this is purely because I dislike anything that this sorry excuse for a teenage boy has ever released. But because Usher over uses his Youtube  account, we have a new dictator in the world of bubblegum pop. The rise and rise of the pubescent munchkin can only be rivalled by that of his ego. His poor songs showcase the ultimate in auto-tune technology, leaving the young kids of the world obsessed, as per in this video:

Brat. I think it’s time to say bye to the Bieber, someone make it happen.

My Chemical Romance – Na na na na na na...

No no no no no. I’ve never been a fan of Gerard Way and his whiney emo quintet, and the first release from the newest album has not persuaded me to give them a chance.  Okay, when they released their debut ‘I’m not okay’, I thought they had something. It seemed like they did not take themselves too seriously, poking fun at the whole punk/emo scene. However, I was proved wrong by further singles and consequential albums.I cannot believe they have been given a headline slot at Reading and Leeds festivals! This new single has tried to revive the energy they may have once had, but with the demise of the late pop-punk scene, this lyric lacking song has done nothing for me – except piss me off.

Matt Cardle – When We Collide.

First and foremost I must admit that I did watch the X factor this year, and I did actually enjoy it. I just resent Matt Cardle for choosing to go ahead with releasing Biffy’s song so soon after its initial release by the great Scots. He is a lovely singer, and I was rooting for him from the start, but his first single release was just a bad decision. I swear the song has not even been played that much on the radio, not nearly as much as the original – perhaps radio stations are choosing to stay faithful to genuine song writing, sticking to the man in a similar fashion to the whole “get Rage to number one” anti Simon Cowell coop (which I was a massive fan of). Also, why change the title from ‘Many Of Horror’, it makes no sense! Cardle, go back to your painting and decorating, you’ve let us all down.

To be honest, as a rule for me, I try not to buy into anything in this chart: http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chart/singles, you should do the same.

New Release: Brick By Brick

Okay! It is an exciting moment as I see a link to http://www.arcticmonkeys.com/ on the band's Twitter page, announcing a new single. I have been anticipating this for a couple of years, since the release of their third album Humbug in summer 2009.  Its called 'Brick By Brick', and it's probably what you would expect.

The Sheffieldd based quartet have evolved as they have grown up, their sound becoming increasingly more distinguished with each album. The new single has followed suit, plunging further into the serious, Josh Homme's influence on the Monkeys has obviously lingered.

It's a good song, with a nice beat and the return of the old happy-go-lucky vocals that Alex Turner phased out slightly in Humbug, yet a blind listen would render the sound anonymous. It does not sound like Arctic Monkeys. It seems like they are attempting to fill the void left by the split of Oasis, who in turn were influenced by The Beatles. Of course, this is by no means a bad thing! The best selling band of all time must have been doing something right. But it's so un-Monkeys, and I reckon it is a step too far, losing all that made them so utterly brilliant in the first place.

'Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not'. Their 2006 debut, and what a debut it was! It instantly smashed sales records, and was voted the best album of the year, by more than one music organisation. It remains to this day one of my favourite records of all time. Its youthful energy and story telling lyrics coupled with fresh guitar riffs make it an enjoyable listen over and over. Try listening back to it, then to Brick by Brick, the change is astonishing.

They followed it up with the second release: 'Favourite Worst Nightmare', which was just as good, if a little less stand out, starting the shift to melancholy with songs like 'The Only Ones Who Knew' and 'Do Me A Favour'.

After a long wait, they then released their third: Humbug. Fans were shocked at the change, but I bloody loved it! It still had the wonderful conceited lyrics that Alex Turner is so great at writing and singing, but it explored a more serious tone, with sombre backing vocals and less extravagant drum beats.

The new album, due for release in June this year, is going to be called 'Suck It And See', and its sexual connotation is a possible hint at their shift even further into the 'rock and roll' demeanour. I think the fame (and substance) has gone to the regularly reserved front man's head, hailing himself as a musical genius, shifting his sound to suit himself while relying on others to put in the graft.

Sorry, that was a bit harsh. But I cannot help in questioning the change. Yes, it's true that all bands need to evolve to stay afloat in the white water rapid that is the music business, however with the drastic image changes, Black Sabbath T-shirts and introverted commentary, the band are completely different to the adolescent group that aroused our senses back in 2006. The only member of the band that doesn't seem to change is Matt, the drummer - he's always been my favourite.

The release of the new album coincides with the plethora of music festivals they are headlining this summer; V Festival, Fujirock, Benicassim and T in the park, have all been recently confirmed. I hope the guys do justice to a spread of their material, old and new.

So, with an obvious amount of pessimism, I await 'Suck It And See'.
Come on lads, prove me wrong!